Maybe you’ve been there-I know I have-getting ready to settle in and have some “date” time with Jesus but then, you just don’t. You know it’s good for your relationship. You actually enjoy it most the time you spend with him. You even miraculously HAVE time to interact a little.
You check your e-mail one more time.
You grab a snack or a drink.
You take a nap.
You run an errand.
You glance through Facebook.
(You write a blog post????)
(And these are only a few of the distractions I’ve personally used today.)
As I’ve mentioned before, these Sabbath moments each Monday have become a place to remember Whose I am and therefore who I am. I NEED some Jesus time… especially after this last week, a truly holy week, but also, especially in the life of a church worker, a busy week. It’s a week filled with emotion and passion as we journey, and help others journey, through the most crucial days of our Savior’s life. As I had the chance to share God’s resurrection power in my own life on Thursday, walk to the cross to lay down all our burdens on Friday, and celebrate together the joy of Easter this weekend… I’m overjoyed, content, grateful, and at peace.
I’m also tired.
As I said before, I need some Jesus time. And yet, for some reason, on these days when I need it most, I am the most distracted and distant. I’m ever aware of my imperfect relationship with God… and unlike human relationships, the fault is all one-sided… me.
On about the fifth attempt of the day to settle in and let God remind me who I am, I read something that helped me understand a little more of why I had been struggling so much.
“Until God’s love is enough, nothing else will be.”
This quote from Renee Swope’s A Confident Heart hit me. With each glance at Facebook, snack made, or errand run I was unconsciously seeking it to be enough. I thought if I’d just get those things out of the way maybe THEN I’d be able to settle in and see God’s love for me. But that way of thinking is seriously flawed and backwards of the way in which God’s kingdom works. You would think after a week of so many reminders, after attending SIX Christ-centered, love-focused worship services, after living and breathing the life, death, and resurrection of Christ at home, at work, with my friends for the last week, after all that you think I would remember this simple truth:
God doesn’t love us because of what we do. He loves us. Period.
That great love came long before anything we do.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
The things I need to do each day, the relationships in which I want to invest, the duties as a worker, a family member, a housekeeper, and more will still be there. I can’t get those all done and THEN come to Jesus; I come to JESUS so that I can get all of those done. I can’t get rid of all the distractions in life; I must come to Jesus and let him focus me in on what’s most important. I can’t try to fill my life, I must give Jesus access to my heart and let him fill it.
“Our schedules are full, our minds are full, our stomachs are full, our refrigerators are full, our closets are full, our lives are full. Yet, we find ourselves… empty…. Why? Because the wells of our hearts were created to be filled by God alone. The deepest thirst of our soul can only be quenched by Him.” (Renee Swope, A Confident Heart)
And so I shut down the computer, put away the snacks, turn off the phone, and open God’s Word.
Ready or not, He’s here waiting, and He is more than enough.