Until God’s Love is Enough… {31 Days of Imperfection – Day 24}

Maybe you’ve been there-I know I have-getting ready to settle in and have some “date” time with Jesus but then, you just don’t.  You know it’s good for your relationship.  You actually enjoy it most the time you spend with him.  You even miraculously HAVE time to interact a little.
And yet…

You check your e-mail one more time.
You grab a snack or a drink.
You take a nap.
You run an errand.
You glance through Facebook.
(You write a blog post????)

(And these are only a few of the distractions I’ve personally used today.)

As I’ve mentioned before, these Sabbath moments each Monday have become a place to remember Whose I am and therefore who I am. I NEED some Jesus time… especially after this last week, a truly holy week, but also, especially in the life of a church worker, a busy week.  It’s a week filled with emotion and passion as we journey, and help others journey, through the most crucial days of our Savior’s life.  As I had the chance to share God’s resurrection power in my own life on Thursday, walk to the cross to lay down all our burdens on Friday, and celebrate together the joy of Easter this weekend…  I’m overjoyed, content, grateful, and at peace.

I’m also tired.

As I said before, I need some Jesus time.  And yet, for some reason, on these days when I need it most, I am the most distracted and distant.  I’m ever aware of my imperfect relationship with God… and unlike human relationships, the fault is all one-sided… me.

On about the fifth attempt of the day to settle in and let God remind me who I am, I read something that helped me understand a little more of why I had been struggling so much.

“Until God’s love is enough, nothing else will be.”

This quote from Renee Swope’s A Confident Heart hit me.  With each glance at Facebook, snack made, or errand run I was unconsciously seeking it to be enough.  I thought if I’d just get those things out of the way maybe THEN I’d be able to settle in and see God’s love for me.  But that way of thinking is seriously flawed and backwards of the way in which God’s kingdom works.  You would think after a week of so many reminders, after attending SIX Christ-centered, love-focused worship services, after living and breathing the life, death, and resurrection of Christ at home, at work, with my friends for the last week, after all that you think I would remember this simple truth:

God doesn’t love us because of what we do. He loves us. Period.

That great love came long before anything we do.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

The things I need to do each day, the relationships in which I want to invest, the duties as a worker, a family member, a housekeeper, and more will still be there.  I can’t get those all done and THEN come to Jesus; I come to JESUS so that I can get all of those done.  I can’t get rid of all the distractions in life; I must come to Jesus and let him focus me in on what’s most important.  I can’t try to fill my life, I must give Jesus access to my heart and let him fill it.

“Our schedules are full, our minds are full, our stomachs are full, our refrigerators are full, our closets are full, our lives are full.  Yet, we find ourselves… empty…. Why? Because the wells of our hearts were created to be filled by God alone. The deepest thirst of our soul can only be quenched by Him.” (Renee Swope, A Confident Heart)

And so I shut down the computer, put away the snacks, turn off the phone, and open God’s Word.

Ready or not, He’s here waiting, and He is more than enough.

Open Our Eyes, Lord {31 Days of Imperfection – Day 19}

I think sometimes we get so blinded by our imperfections that we forget that we have a Savior who can heal if we’d just ask.  We forget that our imperfections may be the things that draw us closest to Christ.

Open our eyes, Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an ordinary day… like every other day.  I just sat, begging, by the side of the road.  Hoping that SOMEONE might notice me and give me something to eat. 

There was something going on… a big crowd going somewhere. I really have learned to figure out a lot of what’s going on around me just by what I hear.  I mean, I guess I don’t really have a choice when I can’t actually see what’s happening. 

It seemed like maybe just a group heading toward Jerusalem for the festival coming up later this week, nothing out of the ordinary… happens every year.  It’s fun to sit here and listen to the conversations of the families walking by, excited for the celebration in their future.  But this group seemed different than just another family.  I asked someone what was going on and they excitedly told me, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by!” before running off to catch a glimpse.  

I don’t know what came over me… it was completely out of character, but I just began to shout.  “JESUS!  SON OF DAVID, HAVE MERCY ON ME!  JESUS!  SON OF DAVID, HAVE MERCY ON ME!”  I was calling out again and again.   I didn’t know what it was inside of me, but there was something in my heart that just KNEW He was the One… He was the One who could heal me… and not just my eye sight.

As I shouted, everyone just kept telling me to be quiet and get out of the way.  But I just kept shouting louder and louder.

Later people told me that he stopped and said “Call him.”  But all I knew is that someone came up and said, “Cheer up!  On your feet! He is calling you.”  Jesus, of Nazareth… calling ME!  Before I could even think about what I was doing I threw off my cloak, jumped up and made my way toward him, not even caring that if, for some reason, he didn’t heal me, I’d have no way to find my cloak again.  And then, I heard his voice… the voice of Jesus….

“What do you want me to do for you?”

“Rabbi, I want to see.” was all I could mutter out in the presence of the great teacher.  

“Go” Jesus said, “Your faith has healed you.” 

I can see. 

I, Bartimaeus, yea, the blind man… can see!

He said “Go”, but really I couldn’t help but follow, for not only did I see the physical things around me for the first time… I could see that this man, this Jesus of Nazareth, was unlike any other…

We Bought Jesus a Prom Dress Today! :)

(My afternoon was just so cool that it warrants pausing my 31 Days of Imperfection series.)

So this afternoon I went prom dress shopping with 11 ladies.  Yes, it was as insane as it might sound. But the coolest part about it all was that these ladies weren’t shopping for their own dresses.

Last week, I was talking with a few of the high school girls at First Trinity about a collection taking place in the area of prom dresses for girls who can’t afford to buy one on their own.  They wanted to do something.  While a couple of them had a dress to donate from last year, many of them have never been to prom and therefore had nothing to donate.  This was where Project Prom Dress was born.  The youth began talking with siblings and other young women they knew to gather slightly used dresses.  Then, today, we all wore formals to church to advertize a little more.  After church we pooled our money and hit the stores to buy some new ones to donate as well. They collected $161 dollars and by hunting the sales, they were able to purchase FIVE dresses.

In between having to explain to people why a group of 12 girls in prom dresses were walking around the mall shopping for prom dresses, I found myself thinking about a passage we looked at a couple weeks ago in Sunday School:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. … And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12, 14)

When these young women got dressed this morning, they didn’t just put on a fancy outfit, the clothed themselves with these attributes.

They gave up a Sunday afternoon and some of their own hard-earned money to make a difference in other girls’ lives.  Compassion. Kindness. Humility.  They didn’t just grab the first dress they could find.  They spent a couple hours looking at all the stores… searching for the best deals to make their money have the most impact… they thought about what they’d want in a prom dress but only so they could make someone ELSE’s day.  Gentleness. Patience.  They paid attention to every little detail: the color, the length, the size, the shape to find the PERFECT dress.  Love.  And as we traipsed around the mall all day, their sense of accomplishment and joy grew as they worked together, talking out decisions, and landing on five beautiful dresses that will bring joy to five beautiful women they may never meet.  Unity.

As I personally put on a formal this morning and thought of these other women doing the same, I was reminded of this passage from Matthew 25:

[Jesus said,] ‘I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

You might even say… we bought Jesus a prom dress today.

Frustrated by Imperfection {31 Days of Imperfection – Day 3}

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

(Romans 7:15-25 NIV)

Glad to know someone understands.

God-Sighting Saturday – I SPY HIM IN HIS WORD

Wooo hoo!!! I actually remembered my God-Sighting Saturday post this week!!!   While there are countless places I saw God this week, I wanted to focus on a couple ways I saw Him in/through His Word this week.

1.  I’m thoroughly enjoying the current Short Course at First Trinity focusing on the I AM statements of Jesus. This past Monday we focused on the passage in John 8 where Jesus says, “I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.” What a blessing it was to gather with over 50 people and focus in on the truth of God being light in this dark, dark world.  Even cooler, is that God calls US the light of the world as well.

2. Sharing the simplicity yet amazing-ness of Jesus’ love with the preschoolers at chapel.  When you give God’s love away, there’s always more!

3. In my personal devotion time, I’ve been focusing in on various names for God.  Three of the names I focused on this week (Rock, Support, and Fortress), came from 2 Samuel 22 where David is singing a song of praise to God.  At first I struggled figuring out where I’ve seen God as “fortress” in my life.  I get the concept but any thing I could think of seemed more like “Rock” or “Refuge”.  After some reflection, and a visit to dictionary.com, I guess what stood out to me as different with fortress is that it’s a BIG thing… all the definitions were about whole fortified TOWNS.  As I looked at other scriptures where God is called fortress, it was often connected with the words “rock” or strength”, at one point salvation itself is described as a fortress, it’s a place you go to in times of trouble, and it’s never closed to us.  Suddenly as this all came together, it became so clear to me that God is often my fortress through people.  He surrounds me, often with lots of people (thinking BIG), it’s especially evident in times of trouble, though is always there to go to.   Reflecting on how I needed God to reveal Himself to me in that specific day as refuge, I realized that GOD is my fortress so when I’m in Him, there is no need for me to worry about trying to protect myself.  Instead, He calls me to live my life in the safety of HIS protection and simply be who He’s made me to be.  Such freedom.

4.  Deuteronomy 6:5-9 “Love the Lord Your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. … talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up… write them on the doorframes of your houses…”

Persecution of A Different Kind

Our prison simulation for the high school students ended over 65 hours ago… yet my mind and heart continue to process that experience.  I wasn’t even one of the prisoners, but it had a great impact on me.  The struggle I’m having is in asking myself the question: “HOW is this going to impact me?”  I know that it has, but I also know that it would be easy for me to push the experience away and just slide right back into everyday life. I don’t want that.

At the end of the 12-hour simulation we revisited a passage that we also started the day with from Hebrews 11-12.  At the end of chapter 11, the writer of Hebrews talks about various forms of persecution that people of that time were experiencing… jeers, flogging, chained, put in prison, stoned, sawed in two, put to death by the sword, and more.  Heading into chapter 12 we see a very big word: “THEREFORE”.  That means… as we read these upcoming verses, keep that persecution, and those people in mind! It says:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix out eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Heb 12:1-3)

Therefore… as you consider all the people who have suffered …. throw off what hinders and run the race.  Keep your eyes on Jesus.

As we wrapped up the long day, I spoke of how we may not experience the same kind of persecution that over 200 million Christians in the world experience, but as we run our race… we run with them.  We too are called to throw off the things that hinder us and step up in our own worlds.  I truly believe we face persecution of a different kind in our culture.  We face the persecution that says “STAY QUIET” and “KEEP YOUR BELIEFS TO YOURSELF!”   We may not be beaten into submission but the call is clear to BE TOLERANT… that you can believe what you believe and I’ll believe what I believe and as long as you don’t get too loud about your beliefs, it’ll all be peachy.

Now, I’m not saying that we need to go crazy and I’m DEFINITELY not saying to disrespect others and their beliefs.  I am saying, though, that if we don’t use the freedoms we actually have in this country to believe what we want and to speak about it, soon those freedoms will fade away.  It reminds me of some verses we discussed at the Short Course last night that talk about “grace and truth”.  This is definitely a case where both are extremely careful.  We can slide to one side and get so wrapped up in speaking truth that people get pushed away from Jesus instead of drawn to him through his love and grace.  Or, we can focus so much on loving everyone that we forget to speak truth and they sadly never meet the real Jesus who IS the Truth.

Again, I’m trying to figure out what this really means… not just on a general, “all of us Chrsitians” level… but on a personal level…. a level that says what am I doing to stand up and speak boldly about what I believe?  What am I doing in the face of cultural persecution?  What am I doing when what I believe clashes with what the culture around me is saying?  Will I just go along with it and keep what I believe to myself or will I stand up and speak? How am I living in grace AND truth?
I pray that we’d all have discernment to know how to react in the face of persecution of any kind and that when it comes down too it, that our whole lives would simply be all about Jesus.  I pray that our ONLY goal would be to fix our eyes on Him and run the race He has marked out for us.  If that path includes speaking up, I pray I’d have boldness to speak up.  If it means staying quiet, I pray I’d have the grace to do just that.  If my race calls me to physical suffering at any point, that God would be my strength and if the race leads me through times of relief from persecution that I’d rejoice in those moments.  But I can only discern what action (or inaction) is needed when my eyes are firmly fixed on Him.  Most of all, in EVERY moment, I pray that I would remember the God who came to earth and found it JOY to suffer for me… because he loves me that much…. and that His great love would flow out of me to all around me.

Locked Up – Follow Up

Wow!  That’s the word that first comes to mind when I think about the LOCKED UP simulation for high school students at First Trinity yesterday.  For 12 hours, eight students from First Trinity and Grace-Niagara Falls gave up their identities and their rights to get a little taste of what it’s like to live in a country where being a Christian is illegal.

 

After hearing from Marty Doster about his experience in China, the students were processed into the prison and began to experience a VERY small taste of the reality that over 200 million Christians face everyday.  With guards yelling in their face, forcing them to do physical challenges, and mocking Christians any chance they got, the students began soon realized that this wasn’t an ordinary day at youth group.

 

One of my personal favorite moments from the day happened a couple hours into the simulation a few of the students couldn’t resist smiling.  As one of the guards were telling them to smile, they responded that even if they wiped the smile off their face, they’d still be smiling on the inside.  Each in push-up position while the other prisoners answered, they one by one confirmed that they were all indeed smiling on the inside because no matter what they were facing that day, they knew God was with them.

THAT, my friends, is the joy we have as Christians… not happiness that comes and goes with circumstances… but deep rooted joy in a God who loves us and cares for us and is good.

 

While I hope to write more stories throughout the week ahead, I wanted to be sure to share what a couple students posted on their Facebook page (for the whole world to see) as soon as they returned home from LOCKED UP last night.

“Had an amazing experience today… cant even believe christians around the world actually have to go through stuff worse than that everyday.. it was pretty [bad] but im now stronger in faith and in the bond with my “cell” mates.. love you guys and all the christians around the world!”

“I will never be able to fully explain what happened today. all i know i can express to you is that the events of this day have changed me. i, as well as a few other people, got the chance to really see what it’s like for a persecuted Christian in the world today. i feel so connected to God, my youth group, and all of the people throughout the world who are fighting and dying to keep their faith alive. today was really an amazing experience.”

 

Want to find out more about persecuted Christians around the world, or even write a letter to one who needs some encouragement?  Check out Open Doors or ask me for more information.

Thank you for praying for the youth that participated and the persecuted Christians we were thinking of all day.

More pictures of the event can be found on the First Trinity Facebook Page.

My Hope, My Comfort, My Life

Abba Father
Heavenly King
Creator
Healer
Sustainer
Savior

The names for God are as endless as His power, His love, and His grace. Kind of by accident earlier this week (though I’m starting to believe not an accident at all!) I stumbled upon the idea of focusing on the various names of God during my personal devotion time. I had kind of “ended” what I had been studying a few weeks ago and was kind of just fishing around for something to focus on next … reading a little of this book here or that one there, turning to my default Psalms when all else failed. For a while there wasn’t much studying of scripture going on in my personal life at all.
And I missed it. I knew I always enjoyed it when I was in God’s Word.
I knew I needed it but between moving out if the apartment and into a house, a trip to CO, and other life chaos it slowly drifted out of the picture. Like I said, I missed it.

This weekend, I finally thought, “Hmmm, maybe I should ask God to help me find what I should be studying… What HE wants to show me.” What an idea, huh?

Suddenly, it was right there in front of me. God as provider. God as protector. God as comforter. God as hope. God as joy-giver. God as life-sustainer. God as Savior.
God as all we need and exactly what we need.

So, I’m excited to dig a little more to who God is … in general and specifically in my life. Each day I’ve been picking one name to focus on along with at least one scripture that address Him as such.

My “study” time each morning has been simple but oh so sweet!

I pick a name from a long list I found that has names of God with a Scripture reference. I spend some time reflecting on that passage and do these three things:

1. Look up other Bible passages that address God in that way and think about what was going on in those various stories and why it might have been comforting or helpful for God to be addressed that way for the people involved.

2. Write the name of God and scripture reference on my hand to remember throughout the day.

3. Finish these two sentences, putting in the name I’m focusing on that day:
- “God, I experienced You reveal Yourself as my comforter when…”
- “God, I need you to be my comforter today in these ways…”

I can’t wait to see how much I can learn about God this month by studying in this new way. I’m already just overwhelmed by the truth that God really is exactly what we need exactly when we need it.

Today, I thank God for being …

(BONUS: I’m realizing that by seeing this scripture reference and name of God on my hand all day, many of them are being committed to memory. I’m imagining times months from now when I may need to remember that God is my comforter in sorrow and while I may not know exactly what the verse says, I will know that Jeremiah 8:18 has something to say about it and can turn to those words. Or when I need a reminder that Jesus truly IS my life and all I need, I can turn to Colossians 3:4.)

When You go to Bed Tonight…

I just finished eating dinner.  It was warm.  It included aspects from various food groups.  There were leftovers (which I’ll enjoy tomorrow for lunch too).  I will go to bed content, in a warm bed.

 

Yet. every night, including tonight, more than a billion people will go to bed hungry. That’s 1 in 6 people on the planet.

 

Some people may say, “Well there’s nothing we can really do about it… there will always be hungry kids… people will continue dying from hunger.  That’s just the way it is. ”

 

Well, those of us participating this weekend in the 30 Hour Famine say, they’re wrong and want to DO something to make a difference. 

 

God’s Word tells us that he desires a world where “those who were hungry hunger no more” (1 Samuel 2:5). God also says that true worship is “to loose the chains of injustice,” “to set the oppressed free,” and “to share your food with the hungry” (Isaiah 58:6-7).

So that’s what we’re going to do this weekend. We’ll go without so others can eat, because it’s not OK to sit here while hunger kills another 8,000 kids today. It’s not OK to let apathy have the last word. Not when we can write a different story for the planet.

Please know that these posts are not to make you feel guilty, but rather we challenge you to get involved.  Here are some ways to do just that:

• Pray for those of us participating in the famine that we would be challenged to make a difference and have the energy and strength to go without so other may have.
• Sponsor us this weekend financially.  Every $30 we raise feeds and cares a kid for a month.  That means for $360 a child will experience an entire year of not having to go to bed hungry.
• Check out WorldVision.com to see other ways you can impact lives all over the world.

Come back here tomorrow to hear more information about people who are hungry here in WNY and what the students will be doing to make a difference.

BLESSED!!!

No words of my own right now, but a few from others I’d like to share.

 

 

First, this paraphrase of Matthew 5:3-5:

You’re blessed when you are out of options, and all you can do is lean on God.  Because when you realize your need for God, it is only then that you tap into His immeasurable greatness and goodness.  You’re blessed when you’ve been stripped of that which is most precious to you.  Because only then can you be tenderly embraced by the One most precious to you.

 

Also, this passage from a devotional book quoted in a blog post I read this morning. 

“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow Me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough! Some of My richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith–not by sight. This doesn’t mean closing your eyes to what is all around you. It means subordinating the visible world to the invisible Shepherd of your soul.”

 

And lastly, this beautiful prayer that was used in the traditional worship service at First Trinity last night and this morning:

"O most loving Father, You want us to give thanks for all things, to fear nothing except losing You, to follow You faithfully, and to lay all our cares on You.  Protect us from faithless fears and worldly anxieties, and give us confidence in Your merciful love given to us in our Savior Jesus, in whose Name we pray. Amen.”